We often feel a sense of obligation towards things, people, and circumstances. It could be a close family member, a friend or colleague, our employer, or our significant other. I’ve recently realized that when this happens, no matter the justifiable reasons there may be, we are being held hostage by something or someone. Our freedom of choice is compromised because we feel there is only one course of action – even though we tell ourselves we chose this option. We create stories so our actions can fit in with an external narrative about what should happen and how we should behave.
Inadvertently, our needs and wants in that moment, are dropped way down on the ladder of importance. And we start the ‘losing ourselves’ path, constantly feeling we need to justify ourselves. This choice of answering the sense of obligation, is further celebrated in the conditioning of our society. Being selfish is a no-no and thinking about others first as the ultimate sacrifice in the name of what it means to be human. But the collective is only as strong as its weakest link, is it not? If this is true – surely our focus needs to be on ensuring we work on filling our own cups first before we endeavor to help others?
Of course, lately we have heard about the need for self-care. The need for women to honour themselves and their needs. We hear how women have traditionally struggled to put themselves first. There are countless coaching programs focusing on Learning to care and love yourself. But, it’s done in a backlash way where it comes across as a fight against. Another war against something we need to survive. This stance enhances the tension that arises when we feel we have to fight, making it seem harder than it needs to be.
Why can’t it be a gentle realization of coming back to ourselves. A quietening of mind. Stepping back from the noise of the outer world and into OUR inner world to Really connect to our soul’s voice.
My question to you is…
